All of us at one point in our life have experienced some form of depression that led to us laying in bed, unwashed, hair unbrushed, in clothes three days short of growing legs and walking out like a bad ex. But what is the difference between a few days of a bad mood and in being dysfunctional?
Well one is based off mood, which can lead to behavior of dysfunction, but persistent dysfunctional behavior is broader in scope, in which it impairs functions of everyday life - even leading to the inability to making decisions. Unfortunately, I have seen this first hand in several people of my life, namely a friend and my mother. Loving them both dearly, it became evident to me that both were dysfunctional by observing their inability to make decisions and apparent inability to learn anything without being given specific direction. Not only this, but observing how despite my efforts to help them improve their life with organization and even scheduling, over and over, it wouldn't last and everything would fall apart.
Now I do realize I am no therapist, but I'm keenly observant in seeing this as a habit, a pattern of dysfunction. I have also seen the other side of the coin, having clawed my way out of dysfunction over the years. Three things I've learned from experience and obviously observation is:
1.) Setting Boundaries - You are what you allow in. If you tolerate people, places, food, ect. to invade your life and drain you of mental clarity it's time to cut the proverbial cord.
2.) Prioritize Self - This means that No becomes a complete sentence and you start looking to find things that better you. Set up a skin care routine, vent into a journal, do things that make you happy. Now this doesn't mean you become a selfish witch that no one can stand, but it means you don't give your everything to everyone else and leave a husk of dried human ash for yourself.
3.) Manage Triggers - Yes, triggers. There are things that trigger behavior, including dysfunction. Start to notice if a person, a place, or even a thing sets up back into a path of rocky road and Netflix binges and step away. We all have triggers, for example: I LOVE wings. My absolute soul-food, and I realized it wasn't just hurting my weight, but also my bank account, thus leading to self hatred and so the vicious cycle would begin again. Worst part is that my favorite wing joint is right next to my gym. So how did I manage my trigger? I went to the gym before the wing joint opens, and I take a different route home from work so I don't pass by it.
These three things completely reversed my dysfunction, but you have to figure what works best for you. In fact, sometimes you may need an outside source, either a friend, or a therapist that doesn't mince words.
